Just a thought!
Forget Gibraltar, Zeebrugge and The Falklands. The next memorable date for Her majesty’s Corp of Marines will be the 2013, the Oxford and Cambridge Boat Race on the Thames. Royal is to provide security for this prestigious race and all because some fug-headed (…………………….. something beginning with“F”, there are so many!) fancied a swim during the final throes of last years event. What exactly will this security entail, will we be given a close up of any other swimming idiots face just as the tuba music kicks in, suddenly his face takes on a quizzical expression when he thinks he has just felt something but his reason fails to understand, which quickly turns to a short lived, fixed flash of terror, as he is taken by force into the murky depths, a shortened gasp then a ripple, never to be seen or heard from again except by the small membership of a secretive mess in Poole, mounted on the wall next to some other startled idiots such as the Iranian Embassy hostage captors (“Can you hear glass breaking?”).
May I suggest an alternative. Task a few R.M. snipers and issue the general warning that anyone found in the water in the vicinity of the race will be shot. Can you imagine the viewing figures then! We could line the banks of the Thames with advertisement hoardings like a Formula 1 Grand Prix and turnaround our national debt in a few years, maybe two if we can encourage a protesting swimmer to test our mettle in the first year. Just a thought! WW